May 2012
Rihanna: We found love in a hopeless place.
Cap: We found Steve in a frozen place.
Tony: We found Stark in an iron case.
Bruce: We found Hulk in some gamma rays.
Thor: We found Thor punching Loki's face.
Thor:
Thor:
Thor: And then hugging him tightly and apologizing for he is my brother, and I love him so.
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I abhor group projects.
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romeo: hey i just met you.
romeo: and this is crazy.
romeo: but i saw you at your dad's party that i wasn't supposed to attend and i thought you were pretty cute so i followed you and we kissed but then your nanny called you away and i found out you were a capulet and got bummed so i sneaked into your back yard in the middle of the night and climbed your balcony uninvited to profess my undying love after an hour even though i wanted to bone rosaline like two scenes ago.
romeo: so marry me maybe.
Anonymous asked: Lol half of your followers are on tumblrdatinggame(.)com
Sometimes it's hard to tell if people actually...
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First World Toilet Problems
We like to screw each other over in this household.
Everyone in my family fails at the courtesy toilet paper roll replacement etiquette.
You know, when the roll is empty aside from a few minute scraps. You could be sitting on the toilet after taking a massive deuce, or after urinating and be in serious need of a wipe. However, to your horror there is NO PAPER. This happened to me twice today,...
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Vent: Silver linings are dotted
WARNING: EMOTIONAL POST. it’s 4:06 am
After parent’s lectures of heavy persuasion
After hearing encouraging words that I was making the right choice
the best choice for me.
After countless nights of little or no sleep
After staining my teeth yellow from all the cups of coffee
After practically pulling my hair out from all the stress
After crying hopelessly over skyscrapers of...
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Girl: I'm having heart surgery today.
Boy: I know.
Girl: I love you!
Boy: I love you more!
*After heart surgery her dad is the only person in the room.*
Girl: Where is he?
Dad: Don't you know who gave you the heart?
Girl: (Starts crying)
Dad: I'm just kidding he went to the bathroom.
Watchbritishstranger:
LOKI’D.
A dramatic Shakespearean response to every...
When something bad happens: True is it that we have seen better days.
When something REALLY bad happens: O woe! O woeful, woeful, woeful day! Most lamentable day. Most woeful day That ever, ever I did yet behold! O day, O day, O day! O hateful day! Never was seen so black a day as this.O woeful day! O woeful day!
When people say that something is wrong because the Bible says so: The Devil can cite scripture for his purpose.
When my girlfriend abandons me for food: FRAILTY, THY NAME IS WOMAN!
When someone doesn't thank me for holding the door open for them: BLOW, BLOW, BLOW, THOU WINTER WIND! THOU ART NOT SO UNKIND AS MAN'S INGRATITUDE!
When I burn something while cooking: MY CAKE IS DOUGH!
When human stupidity frustrates me: LORD, WHAT FOOLS THESE MORTALS BE!
When someone says I'm going to hell for my sins: NYMPH, IN THY ORISONS BE ALL MY SINS REMEMBER'D.
When I'm broke: My pride fell with my fortunes
When someone turns the light on after a period of darkness and blinding light ensues: OH, SHE DOTH TEACH THE TORCHES TO BURN BRIGHT!
When someone disagrees with me: THERE ARE MORE THINGS IN HEAVEN AND EARTH, HORATIO, THEN ARE DREAMT OF IN YOUR PHILOSOPHY.
When I argue with my girlfriend: The course of true love never did run smooth.
When I'm embarrassed: MUST I HOLD A CANDLE TO MY SHAMES?!
Someone says "Good Night": Good Night, Good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow, that I shall say good night till it be morrow.
If it's important to you, you'll find a way. If...
